Raindropz Of My Life

2006-09-15T21:06:00.000+08:00

have i ever mentioned how much i love my daddy for going all the way to selegie every night to get me nice smooth bean curd which melts in the mouth? haha.he bought 10 boxes ytd. and i had 3 today x). totally heavenly. haha.

physics is really getting on my nerves. its demoralising me and testing my endurance. haha. was on the brink of screaming out during physics. i dont understand the whole thing nick chan was talking bout! haha. but thankfully i have nice frens x). cheryl,wenhao and eileen, u all rock my life. always turn my frowns into smiles x).haha.

and another thing has made me smile. from the heart x). hehe.i like this feeling.

i'll be meeting cheryl,wenhao,annarine and other friends to do work. yay x).

2006-09-14T20:15:00.000+08:00

im seriously lagging behind. rahhs. as much as i try, i just cant seem to gain momentum. its getting more and more unproductive. its 2 weeks to promos and i havent even revised. everything seems so difficult now! haha. in the past,i usually didnt care bout exams. didnt even study. somehow i wish i still had that kinda mentality. things were much simpler. haha. but im alright. food just makes me relive stress x).

im really mentally exhausted. i cant wait for A's to be over. nvm. slightly more than one yr left x)! haha.but my mum rocks lar. she wants me to go for the vienna boys choir concert with her. haha.

i hate being stuck in the middle. urgh. i cant afford to fall.nonono.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
er.PIMPLES.

2. When is the next time you will have sex?
err. HOW WLD I NOE!

3.What's a word that rhymes with DOOR?
four, lor, whore, bore,more,chore. aint my eng pro x).hehe.

4. Favorite planet?
the sun =/.haha.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
Felicia. was something bout tuition.

6. What is your favorite ringtone on your phone?
my phone is always on silent. im a quiet girl u noe. haha!

7. What kinda shirt you have on?
kevin's green tee =/. its comfortable lar. but dont xiang wai! haha.

8. Describe yourself in one phrase
the one and only x).

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
huijuin's bare feet.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
bright

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
she's hot. and she loves jon leong too!

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
i'll combine both x).

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
er. sleeping?

14. What did your last text message say that you received on your mobile?
yukai. he says secret proj is making blisters on his hand. haha.poor thing.

15. Where is your letter box?
er. downstairs? wth. haha.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
im hungry. this rocks lar. u suck.

17. Last furry thing you touched?
krystal my dog. i love her lar.

18. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
is tv counted? its addictive too.

19. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
i rarely take pics using a cam.

20. Favorite age you have been so far?
13 going on to 14 x)

21. Your worst enemy?
my past.

22. What is your current desktop picture?
some pic of my sis and her friends. its her com.

23. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Dad! can u get me a bowl of kway tiao, rice balls and pancake?"

24. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly?
fly! then i can teach pple to fly for a million bucks.haha.

25. Do you like someone?
of course. PLENTY!especially JONATHAN LEONG!!! SI is on tv now.

26. The last song you listened to?
doing that thing you do -- final 3 singapore idols.

27.If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?
yes!he's my dad!

28. If you could punch one person in the face who would it be?
HAHAHA! my fav teacher lor =P.

29. What is the closest object to your left foot?
a empty tupperware which was filled with dessert a min ago x).

2006-09-12T20:19:00.000+08:00

certain things have happened recently. from ytd, gerard chua is officially out of my life,even as a friend. he made it clear he doesnt want me as a friend and said and did some things to hurt me again. i spent two yrs hurting myself. its time to move on totally x). forgive and forget, juin.

at the same time, im really really glad for friends who've been arnd lar. thanks to didi, yk, abel and cliff who've been there to read my sms complaints. haha! esp to didi. thanks for caring girl x)! and of cuz s14! those funny pple. nvr fail to make me laugh. they bring joys to the frustrations. haha.

another thing ive been frustrated about was the helplessness im feeling lar. ive tried my best and i thought i understood the concepts and yet ive failed TWO subs again. its really discouraging lar. sometimes i wonder if i shd give up and go poly. but i dont give up so easily! i must press on! haha.

to all those having promos or prelims now, ALL THE BEST! GO ALL THE WAY PPLE x)! haha. and yk, mug is ur middle name from now! haha.

i realise i stuff myself with food whenever im upset. so a nice way to cheer me up wld be FOOD x)!rahh. i dont think this is good ya. haha. but WHO CARES.

stop me from falling.

2006-09-10T19:52:00.000+08:00

im finally updating all thanks to lousy JILLIAN LOH HUI SHAN. haha.

i cant believe promos are in 2 weeks and im still slacking my ass off. haha. been watching lots of croc hunter diaries recently. its really sad lar. looking back at whatever he's said, its just really surprising he's dead. rahhs. he really makes me tear lar. but this is prob god's will x).

im so glad sch's starting! at least i wont be at home thinking bout nonsense. haha. i cant stand cj pple lar. tried contacting gerard's crush but she's super dao can. bitch lar. haha. his birthday is on sat. i really dont wanna care. but as a fren, think i shd at least get him something. after that, i dont wanna have anything to do with that flirt. rahhs.

and i realise certain parts of winston remind me of gerard.haha.

short entry cuz i have such an ENTERTAINING life =/.haha.

2006-09-07T21:08:00.000+08:00

rahh.i cant believe me and my sis cried cuz paul's out. he has brought so much fun and laughter to spore idol. without him, i doubt the fun moments wld even be arnd. haix x(.

im really running out of motivation. wld anyone give me a boxful of motivations? haha. ive got no idea why im looking forward to coming online. what a time lar. haha.

spent most of the day watching croc files. cant believe he's gone just liddat. its all so sudden lar. and another boy just died after recovering from cancer. perhaps this is god's will ba. no one can oppose it.haha. i miss going church again.

2006-09-06T20:04:00.000+08:00

i wonder if theres anyone who really likes PW. he/she must be really psycho. haha. went to rvhs w weiquan,yuquan and shaun for the interview today! its one of the rare days i actually went out and came back ALL BY MYSELF! im independent! lalala.haha. met jabez and a guy who seems v. familiar. think its kelvin yeo? i forgot! haha. those 2 are really funny lar. they went to sentosa to enjoy while i had interview!UNFAIRR!

weiquan's teacher is really nice lar. gave us many motivating stuff. haha. yays. then i had papaya soy milk + pancake x)! YUMMY! calories are my best friends! haha.

and once again, the day was REALLY unproductive! attempted to READ physics notes but i cant get anything into my head.so decided to eat and ended up sleeping till dinner! haha.

somethings have made me rmb the things i do not wish to rmb. its painful to noe i cant take it all back. rahhs.

and im happier to come online now. wth. STOP ME! haha.

my knee hurts really lots x(. no more walks to the bus stop for me.haix.

2006-09-05T20:01:00.000+08:00

did i mention i spent 100+ bucks on clothes! haha. its so not the time to shop lar. someone stop me. ahh! haha.

maths lecture today was LOONG and airconless half the time. haha. correlation is really such a good lullaby lar.haha. but i pulled thru it! after the 3 hour long lecture, s14 had a tough time deciding if we shd go for physics lar. but we still did in the end cuz its in the IP lab! first time there! haha. IP pple are really lucky lar. aircon labs. booo.haha.

lunched at adam rd w those who went to mr goh's hse. just realised that most of the stalls are run by malays! haha. and we saw qi yiwu and some other actor eating too! and i finally understand canteen auntie's yong tau foo is the best x)! haha. was perspiring like crazy cuz of the super spicy sauce. haha. and the dessert was SUPER sweet! but i had my tomato juice and avocado juice! haha. I LOVE THE AVOCADO JUICE FROM ADAM ROAD! shall pop by after sch to get it when sch reopens x)! haha.

after that, we went to mr goh's hse in serangoon. had a funny time laughing my head off at HAO-GU,cheryl,eileen and the rest. haha. those pple really make my day lar x). had a really nice time at his hse. i nvr knew he was so nice! haha. he will be such a good dad lar. oh well, CHEM IS GONNA BE MY FAV SUBJ! haha.

heard the bad news bout steve erwin's death this morning. really sad lar. i watch his shows almost every morning! cant believe he just left like that. its all so sudden. he still has a young daughter and he's still young. he's so postive bout life and all. why did he go in such a way? haix. may he rest in peace. god bless him.

2006-09-03T09:14:00.000+08:00

i watched some nat geog show bout chinese tribes. was totally disgusting. as a form of revenge, they just chopped off their neighbour's goat's head ALIVE and poured the blood all over. im TRAUMATISED! cant shake that image off my head lar.

anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JABEZ! i dont like you! youre older than me yet u look younger =PP! wahaha!

ive been super unproductive lately. my momentum is dropping lar.no work done!booo hj! and i realised my appetite is REALLY increasing! i have to eat 3 bowls of noodles for dinner and that still doesnt make me full! haha.

my darling sister got me really nice pants! i love her! haha. its been a long while since ive worn long pants lar. all thanks to gerard's influence =/.rahhs. but yay. long pants are back! haha.

someone just pull me out of bed and slice my eyeballs off the tv cann! haha.

2006-09-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

i nvr understood why some pple can be so selfish. cant they just take out a dollar? a dollar wld prob just go to their char kway teow upsize. but it can help someone else in a much significant way than char kway teow lar. they can afford 50 bucks of food but not a buck to buy tissues. its pitiful they are blind already alright! urgh. me,my mum and my sis had dinner at serangoon gardens when this auntie brought this blind guy along table to table asking pple to buy tissues. some pple with a whole table full of food just treated them as invisible. if they didnt wanna buy, they just cld have said it politely lar. rahhs.

anyway, anyone free tml? nobody seems to be able to go out with me tml x(. i wanna buy that pair of pants for my sis. as her pre-prelims present! haha. i cant believe i was desperate enough to ask gerard. but he sucks lar. he nvr cared and he nvr will. all he cares about is his hair, how hot girls are, how nice they look. urgh.

sleep will make me a happy girl. tml's a brand new day!

2006-09-01T08:59:00.000+08:00

WHEEE. the hols are here! haha. both happy and sad. i dont like being alone at home x(.but oh wells. on a happy note! we finally had a 4/3 cls outing!.heres some pics of teachers day celebrations, which were superr short lar.haha.

reliving the past x).

PIZZA PARTY! i had 8 pieces cann! but was SUPER NICE x).haha.

after that, me and stella rushed off to marina sq meet didi and wongy and yk! its been ages since 5 of us have come tgt lar. really miss those days we wld just go to e coffeeshop after sch x(. we didnt have to do anything much. just being arnd them makes me feel happy x). theyve brightened up my week! haha. me and didi bought the same shorts! haha! and yk cut his arm while skipping sch just for us. awww. hope he's better! haha.

followed up, 4/3 steamboat at marina bay! only 10+ pple came. but it was still nice meeting them! i miss 4/3 atmosphere x(! haha.

we all love arcades!

chefs at work! home econs did us some good lar.haha.

MIMI!!

darling A.As eating ice cream!

part of 4/3 '05. always x).

tag replies -

"secret admirer" : i look at so many pple everyday lar! haha.

the rest: on ur blogs! haha x))

2006-08-29T16:06:00.000+08:00

cheryl the bimbo asked me to do this. so here it goes.

5 random facts about me:
1.i hate chocolates.
2.i eat lots but im a fussy eater.
3.im like bananas. ALL KINDS ;P! haha.
4.i have specific socks for PE and skirts of choir.haha!
5.i SO LOVE WR CANN!haha.

5 things which scare me:
1. thinking too much.
2. what i don't know
3. losing the people i love
4. not being remembered by pple i wld rmb for life.
5. NO MORE FOOD! x)

5 songs im listening to:
1. Fa Ru Xue -- jay chou
2. Yue guang -- hu ge
3. croatian rhapsody -- maksim
4. dad, im home -- jay chou
5. stacy's mum-fountains of wayne (OMG! CHERYL! WE'RE LISTENING TO THE SAME SONG!)

5 things i like:
1. SUSHI BUFFETS X) -hint hint BIMBOS.haha.
2. BIMBOS.
3. to laugh and people who make me laugh (:
4. to know pple really care for me.
5. A.As + YK!

5 things i say most:
1. Err.
2. yea right.
3. IM HUNGRY.
4. IM STARVING.
5. JONATHAN LEONG ROCKS.

5 people to do this:
1. claudia
2. yukai
3. sumin
4. eileen
5. abel (haha! i noe u dont have a blog!)

anyways, im on a hiatus till my stupid com is fixed. hopefully it'll be done by teachers day x).

CAN YOU PLEASE GO AWAY. STAY AWAY FROM MY MIND!

2006-08-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

this is mr WONG TING YANG, my brother cum gp partner! haha. this is one of his zi lian pics on MY HP! haha. so as promised, heres ur pic! you better tag my if u see this ok YANG MEH MEH! haha. tingyang is a guy w a nice way of cheering pple up. anyone wants? $2 per hour. payments to me x).hehe!

rights. just realised im burning out. ive got no motivation to work anymore lar. i really got to thank god ive got pple like BIMBOS to help me with my work. esp my DA JIE x)! haha. totally screwed physics SPA. i shd have just skipped it. i'll prob get the same marks anyway. haha!

time flies. in 5 weeks, PROMOS WLD BE OVERR! and BIMBOS shall go for waffles alright! and A.As + YK, i really really want a nice lunch w u all! I MISS YOU ALL REALLY LOTS!haha.

gerard smsed me last night. somehow i dont feel anything. and thats really great x). HJ IS A HAPPY GIRL! haha. anyway, this is a reminder to abel ang! START MUGGIN! GO GO GO! all the best for ur exams. jiayou!

WOOOHOOOO! JONATHAN AND JOAKIM ARE STILL IN!! x))))))! but pple are so mean to joakim. give him a break lar. he has a great personality lar.

2006-08-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

great.ive deleted that pic. my uncle and dad kept going on and on bout the footballer gerrard that im so irritated w that name.so im irritated with that face too.haha.

i just realised how little time ive left for promos. somehow feel like everyone is treating promos more seriously than o levels. haha. and i just realised stupid yk always makes me laugh lar. he shd just be a clown.haha!

my mum is making me watch national day rally with her =/.rahhs.

I really miss this x(. i miss YK and A.As and the rest of my secondary sch life x(.

2006-08-19T08:51:00.000+08:00

i was clearing my files till i came across this and a few others. really reminded me of that time. just a few mths before everything happened. rahhhs. i love deleting pictures. WHEEEE.

We were sweethearts in summer, lovers by fall
But wintertime came and put a chill to it all
Now we cannot forgive what we will not forget
We've both said things that we should regret
Now my love for you has turned to hate
It's a total reversal of emotional states
A sad conclusion I have to relate
My love for you has turned to hate
The bright summer sun left us blinded and sure
That we'd both found a love that was bound to endure
But then the clouds rolled in and as my eyes adjusted
I was staring at someone who just couldn't be trusted

--from 5 Chinese Brothers--My Love for you has turned into hate.

hmm,actually i dont hate him.neither do i blame him.if i had to blame someone,it wld be me. i let myself fall so deeply. i let my confidence be based on his impression of me. i let myself give up so much. in the end, i let myself get hurt. haha. but i dont feel so sad anymore. instead, im glad it happened. ive learnt really lots from him. and ive learnt how to appreciate things more x).haha.oh well, i love my life x))!haha.

2006-08-18T21:12:00.000+08:00

did i mention that i was upset cuz i cant donate blood! why oh why!! why must i be 45kg to donate? what difference does it make? bahhs.

choir today was surprisingly alright. just that i super in SUPER ZI BI mode. even won sumin. well, something (not choir) annoyed me. guys are nothing but trouble. esp little boys. urghs.haha.thanks to sumin and claud for listening to my frustrations on the bus k x)!

had to sign some form to promise to work hard for promos. compared to last yr, ive improved. but somehow i feel i still cannot make it lar. everyone else is so clever. they dont even need to study hard and yet they do so well lar. dumb me. boo x(.

bad habits are hard to stop. esp when it concerns stuffing myself with food. how irresistable x).haha.

sometimes i wonder who treats me as a good friend.haha.

2006-08-17T20:42:00.000+08:00

things in my family have been getting complicated lar. i just dont understand adults. why cant they just treat everyone just like how they used to? is money really so impt? ultimately, at the end of ur life, i think what u wld value most is the times u had w pple u love. not money. guess everyone just has different perspectives.

someone just tied my hands up so i can stop spending money! haha. i just spent 30 over bucks on facial cleanser!! and tml ive got to pay 20 bucks for sch stuff. there goes the 50 bucks my dad gave me today. haha.

i screwed up the chem SPA today. i forgot to times 2! freaking pissed! urghh. SLAP ME LAR.

yay. promos are coming. means promos are ending x))!

TRIPLE YAY!! JONATHAN,PAUL AND JOAKIM ARE IN! x)))!

2006-08-13T08:48:00.000+08:00

there has been many things which have brightened up my life recently lar. im such a lucky girl x). one of them was the concert i went for with bestie last night!totally rocked!the band was great lar! seeing so many pple being so high, i think i really deserve the title of zi bi pres. haha x). sometimes i feel bad that im always so "confidence-less" and shy, but perhaps thats who i am lar. its a special trait about me! haha. i AM that little quiet girl sitting at the corner x)).

i was really happy to see bestie ytd lar! after like 1542424 years.whee. im a mummy =/.haha. that kinda happy feeling isnt the kind which wld make u high (well, im nvr high anyway). its the kind where i wld feel my life totally rocks x). bestie nvr fails to put positive thoughts in me lar. now im positively-charged =/.haha!

i shall prac my summary skills : THANK YOU LOADS ABEL x). THANKS FOR BEING MY FRIEND. you brighten up my life too x))! haha.

2006-08-12T08:22:00.000+08:00

this week was a rocking week! no double gp,few physics tutorials and one lesson of maths tutorial! haha. me and hao gu officially declare our fav sub is maths, just like civics=/.haha! rights. as usual,my dear bimbos have been brightening up my days lar. -SQUEAAK! haha. thanks GIRLS (including wh).you all have made me so happy to be where i am now.

another thing which brightened my week was gelotos!ytd me,sumin,hao gu and na jie had gelatos! oh my. i had 3 scoops. but who cares, theyre nice! haha. but somehow feel bit guilty for spending money like that.haha.

my family's financial situation has reached a stage where i wld have to move hse. i took a walk arnd today and realise i really love this place. this is where i grew up,where i learnt to rides bikes,where i had NUMEROUS falls,where i dread to return to everytime the teacher calls my mum.this is where i had my first kiss, my first visit from a biker, my first secret dates. aiyar, u get the pic, im just really attached to this place. furthermore, my hse is superr windy and the scenery is nice. please dont take away all these from me x(.

having said that, i'll be glad if this sacrifice wld teach my dad a lesson and encourage him to start everything anew. and maybe a new environment wld do me good. at least i wont feel gerard's presence arnd anymore. but i sure will miss the biker.

sometimes i feel relas actually make pple reliant. girls in relas usually arent as independent as they used to be. it feels good to be single x).haha.

once again, sorry for the emo post x).haha.

2006-08-08T21:01:00.000+08:00

Find your Celestial Choir

ripped from sumins blog.

2006-08-08T20:32:00.000+08:00

national day celebrations today were high i guess. spent most of the time in the dance studio stoning lar. cuz the choir pple had to stick tgt =/.haha. anyway, ANNARINE is the BEST house capt anyone can have. though we didnt win, its not ur fault ok! everyone plays a part x).

BIMBO outing was spent eating and chatting the whole time! haha. spent almost an hr waiting for 171 b4 we finally SQUEEZED into the bus full of NYGH girls. those pple have great voice man. shd join choir =/.haha. we finally got to gelare for waffles! tues are half priced! it was YUMMILICIOUS lar. i want somemore! haha. had fun bitching lar. i opened up bout somethings i havent told many pple. i dunno if anything i said has changed my impression of me in my fellow bimbos mind. hope not lar. but i just feel frens shd be honest x).haha.

we carried on further to SUBWAY! my fav fast food. but! i learnt nvr to eat salads in subway! its more ex than a whole MEAL larr. and it doesnt keep u full for long. rights. so spent more time chatting and chatting. i dunno if eileen they all felt sian. but so sorry if u all did k. but sometimes being able to sit down and talk like that is really a blessing x).

eileen left me,hao gu and cheryl at orchard cuz i had to change my euros. cheryl had to leave to meet her mum so me and hao gu went to cine to visit nina! haha. she's such a funny girl lar. oh ya. den me and wenhao went hunting for the hongkee restaurant. and as usual, we spent 12+ on toast and dessert =/. he didnt seem to satisfied. but i think its alright x).haha.

i bumped into gerard and the girls he liked after hao gu left. i felt so weird lar. somehow the feeling of hurt which i had right after the breakup came back again. felt v. betrayed. cuz he didnt even bother bout me. it hurts to noe he didnt even look at me. rahhs. why did u have to appear. why did u have to affect my feelings like that again.

but the ardous journey home made me feel much better. i thought bout things. maybe i shdnt be in contact with him. since he doesnt care, i dun see y i shd make myself feel bad. anyway, its thanks to him i get to appreciate my frens now. im no way gonna give up my frens for any guy. cuz now i noe frenships really last longer than relas.

2006-08-05T09:00:00.000+08:00

sumin's fav teacher didnt come for physics ytd. no wonder the day went well.haha.bet she's fuming now x).haha.

HAO GU asked me bout my direction in life ytd. i gave it some thought and as naive as i am, i still think dreams are restricted by reality. i really wanted to be a vet but cuz of my laziness i didnt take bio. so here i am wondering wad i shd do.haha. my dad says he sees me as an engineer. but ive no passion for engineering at all. i really want a job i love. pple only live once, being happy is SUPER impt x).

my mum wants me to study medicine. thought of going to japan. but looking at my parents' financial state now, i dont wanna be a burden to them. it'll prob cost a million buck (REALLY!) and i think thats too much a price for them.

and ive yet to find my strong pt. hopefully i'll be enlightened soon! haha.

certain things cant be forgetten i guess. its been 7 mths? though im much happier now, he still appears in my mind once in a while. its his birthday next mth and im still tempted to give him what i gave him last yr, despite all the things he has done. i dun like him. in fact,i wanna hate him. but i just cant seem to hate anyone. is that good or bad?

P.S. sorry for the emo thingy. just thoughts i suddenly had. hehe x).

2006-08-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

sumin the big ponner didnt come sch today! and claudia didnt come for choir prac. stupid pple. pangseh me. im now the ultimate zi-bi one! haha. was totally staring at the guys playing soccer during choir. shows how zi bi i was yeah.haha.

but the day was brightened up by the BIMBOS! had an outing to some cafe at coro plaza. the prices were reasonable lar. but most imptantly, we spent like 2 hrs chatting! haha. HAO GU, cheryl and eileen are such BIMBOS =PP.had lots of fun laughing lar. good stress-relievers. haha. by next yr, im sure we'll all noe the whole nj already lar. haha. IM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO BIMBO OUTING 2 ON NAT DAY EVE! waffles and k box/movies. wheee x)

ohmy lar. the 9pm show is so sweet! haha. just really reminds me, i used to have someone was like weixiang and guobin arnd. too bad i missed the many chances to realise how nice he was. rahhs. and that guobin guy doesnt even care now. boo.thats why, always appreciate the pple arnd u.

2006-08-03T21:03:00.000+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK. WHY IS JAY OUT!

guys who cry are really sweet. and he's such a good singer and a nice guy. WHY OH WHYY!!!

2006-08-03T20:42:00.000+08:00

ohmy. time really flies. another week is over. haha.

eileen seemed a bit down today. cheer up k girl. i want my smiley bimbo back! haha. had the most fun GP lesson today. the whole cls was almost debating for the whole 1.5hrs lar. haha x).why cant gp lessons be like todays! and HJ LOVES THE YONG TAU FOO AUNTIE. she's so nice. let me reserve the yong tau foo. den i didnt have to queue up.haha.

i screwed up chem prac as usual. but im really glad i noe how to draw haber cycle! haha. went with cheryl to paint the ignis pheonix banner while HAO GU was slacking away making other pple carry cupboard =PP! haha.

i saw gerard walking home while i was in my dad's car. why cant he move away. haha.oops.

im so looking forward to waffle day! food and friends make me happy x).

OHOH! JONATHAN LEONG STILL ROCKS x).

2006-08-02T20:07:00.000+08:00

yay. most of my frens said my new blogskin in nice x).haha.

hj is really happy! cuz ive done my GP VA though it sucks. haha. i wanna noe whats DA PAO's blog! haha. someone thinks that our cls sucks but i think i love our cls. i cldnt ask for more i guess. but to that someone, always appreciate whatever u have.u cld have gotten worse u noe.haha.

mock physics SPA today was crap. i cldnt even finish it. im so screwed cann. and practically everyone is reminding me that promos are in 50+ days? jiayou k everyone! make sure ur results FLY FLY WAY UP HIGH x).

i cant believe im so into that 7pm channel u show. ahhh. i hate soap dramas but i just simply LOVE taiwan idol dramas. haha. give me more!

anwyays, JONATHAN LEONG ROCKS.

somehow, as much as i wanna forget,i cant. boo.but theres a reason for everything x).

2006-08-01T13:45:00.000+08:00

the mugger club pres, ME, hasnt been online for 3 days. whee. avoiding pple is a good way of staying offline x). haha.

rights. my sch life has been improving. at least i do my work now. meet my best friends, integration and superposition =/.haha. nvm. 8 more weeks to real freedom! haha. but even if that day comes, i doubt i'll have anything to do. i wanna go out on natl day eve! lets have a bimbo outing! haha.

just realised cheryl is a deprived kid and eileen is the ultimate bimbo! haha. and a new addition to my fossil club- cheryl tan. but she's still under probation. haha. pics of the bimbo will be up soon! haha.

i still love coming to school.at least pple like wenhao,sumin,cheryl,eileen> and aiyar, practically the whole cls, make me smile. haha. just hope our friendships get stronger.

anyways, i saw a poor moth getting eaten by a lizard. i dunno which one i shd admire. the lizard bravely fought with something at least twice its size lar. my sis was screaming asking me to help the moth.but i just think i shdnt disrupt the way of life? haha. she said life is cruel. but is it? or is it just natural? smililarly, is war natural?

my family financial status is getting from bad to worse. my dad even had to attempt to borrow money from my bank acct. i dunno how things have end up to such a state. but cuz of this, i even have to think twice bout watching a movie. ive really change 180 deg from last yr lar. haha.

alright. back to stoning for pw.

2006-07-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

ive realised some people have been feeling down recently. so heres a little something x).

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
when you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Always rmb there will be someone there to fix you ok x). or else, fix urself. haha. wheee.

2006-07-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

ohmy. the weeks are flying past. ahhhs.

anyway, im currently on a hiatus. shall be back in a while x)).

2006-07-14T21:24:00.000+08:00

some pretty fucked up thing happened ytd. quarrelled with gerard again. well, he said lots of stuff which fucking hurt. not cuz i still like him. its juz cuz i was dumb enough to give up so many things for that jerk. urgh. ahwells. that idiot acted as if i was the one who cheated on him though its the other way round =/.so we've decided not to talk to each other anymore. and i believe in myself. so he can just go away and stop bringing out the worse in me. haha.

anyway,common test results are out. pretty happy i passed all except chem. but chem was a dissaptment. studied chem the most, felt most confident bout chem and yet i failed. bleah. but im still glad. i just feel bad i complained that i was gonna fail and i ended up not failing. sorry to those i grumbled at right after the exams. haha.

i love o6s14 x). my classmates rock.hehe.

choir has been realy hiong this week. learnt 4 songs and 1 syf piece. the piece is hard lar. haha. though its annoying to stay back till so late, somehow the days pass by fast. and schlife feels more balanced x).haha.

i miss my sec 1 days. rahhs.

2006-07-08T08:38:00.000+08:00

though sch has been boring, but im glad i have to go to sch everyday. i'd be super depressed if i hadnt x). sometimes i hate myself for being so weak. some pple say i shd stop believing that everyone is good becuz the truth will hurt. but theres just something in me that tells me the good in pple often hide under a mask, a mask they use to conceal their vunerability. so, despite being hurt once again, i still wanna believe that good prevails evil x).

perhaps everything really happens for a reason. theres usually a rainbow after a storm,but u'll only be able to see it if u stop dwelling on the losses u made during the storm. i did x).hehe.

ahh.i shd stop being so emo. rahhs. right. i failed physics by ONE mark and passed maths right on the dot. some pple wld be super depressed if they got my marks. but im really glad. its all luck lar.haha.as for those who didnt do as well as expected, dont be sad ok! rmb! rainbow rainbow! haha.

i broke my turkish ice cream virginity ytd! stupid yk made me get ice cream! and he had a pretty good laugh. haha! food and gd company is all that i need to cheer me up. woohooo. had a nice snacking session ytd. haha. i love singapore food fest x)).

my parents are having pretty bad financial probs now. theres nothing i can do except spend whats neccessary. like food! hahas. i hope the problem really makes them stronger x).

I HATE MATHS VA. BUBBLES SUCK.

2006-07-02T08:15:00.000+08:00

IGNIS dinner at pizza hut ytd! haha. i skipped maths tuition for it. was totally in no mood for tuition. stoned thruout chem while the teacher blabbered on bout ideal gases =/.like wth. i just saw that irritating ques in the paper. urgh.

met up with matthew after a whole half an hour of waiting. haha.stupid boy was late! spent another hrs walking arnd aimlessly and thinking where to go. we finally settled on going dhoby gaut to play LAN! haha. it was fun lar! i want more dota sessions! i will improve my skills one fine day! haha!

i met a new dancer, wenhaos fren. but i dunno wads her name. we just sat and chatted bout dance?! haha! honestly speaking, the pizzas didnt make me full. so i had to drinks lots of soup and i had dessert x).haha. but overall, the dinner was alright. if annarine is reading this, i hope she cheers up. such things cant be perfect x)), it was gd enuff lar! haha.

piggies.

i love smiles x)

the gambling den.haha.

2006-07-01T08:34:00.000+08:00

its been 3 days since my terrible rashes outbreak! and the doc still hasnt found the cause of it. rahhs. i hate waking up to patches evry morn x(.

ANYWAYS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIDI! so old. u'll grow cobwebs soon while i jump arnd in the sun. wahahaha =PP. so sorry i cldnt go ytd. i dun wanna scare u all with my hideous scars. haha.

theres been lots of weird things happening arnd lately. theres a 15 yr old girl who gave birth even w/o noeing she's pregnant, theres a guy who just myseterous died. wads happening? haha.

this nvr fails to make me smile x)

2006-06-29T17:03:00.000+08:00

COMMON TESTS ARE OVERR!

im gonna be in e 5 straight Fs club. hopefully nobody joins me. no one is welcomed! haha. but guess ive done near the best i can, so ive got no regrets x). haha.

after physics ytd headed to town with wenhao,annarine,haikal and nina to watch scary movie 4. the place was rampant with cj pple lar.eww. the cinema was filled with cj and nj pple. and we met aaron,qingsheng,tingyang and their friend! so qiao lar. haha. the show was super lame. no storyline but we had fun laughing our heads off lar. haha. walked arnd heeren after that and met the guys again! speak of the devil! haha.

i lost ALL my cards, including me sch pass and my ez link card. how unlucky is that lar. and worse still, i came down with an allergy reaction ytd. cldnt sleep well cuz my whole body itched. my face is still rather swollen. hopefully it will be fine by tml cuz i really wanna go out with w a.as! and ive got house dinner on sat! haha.

i did a really brave thing today x). i buried my past and faced my fears yay.

2006-06-25T08:45:00.000+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Hui juin!

Ideally, hui juin should be stored on her side at a temperature of 55 degrees.
The ace of spades in a playing card deck symbolizes hui juin.
Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using hui juin.
If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets hui juin.
If you chew gum while peeling hui juin then it will stop you from crying.
Hui juin can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee!
Hui juin can last longer without water than a camel can!
It takes forty minutes to hard-boil hui juin!
The National Heart Foundation recommends eating hui juin at least three times a week!
More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in hui juin.

ripped this off from didi the bean's blog. statement 7 is so so not true lar. bet sumin agrees. haha.and statement 3 sounds WRONGG! haha.

im gonna fail physics. rahh. totally forgot bout it. hmphs.

2006-06-24T10:22:00.000+08:00

yay. ive got a new skin x). hahas. i'll put the links up soon lar. at least after the CTs. promise. haha.

read wong's blog. its true how much things have changed. guess we all have. all it took for us to be happy last time was an outing tgt. we had fun in sch, got into trouble tgt,gt angry w each other tgt. now ,its hard to feel the same way like we used to. but i guess wad we can do is feel happy bout the present. be happy that u still a sch to go to, be happy that uve got frens no matter how rarely they may be arnd.haha. no pt comparing it to the past though i have to admit i often do that.haha.

rights. enough of emo stuff. lunched with yk ytd at M hotel! bimbos unite! haha. had a nice bimbo-ing session. and i swear NKF is gonna be my next home =/.haha.and i learnt LIME is NOT calamansi! haha. went to natl lib after lunch. there was a false fire alarm lar.so funny. and it was crowded! so we spent an hr finding a place to do proper work. haha. sat on the floor like the little kids before a librarian came.haha. i didnt realise my maths is so terrible! well, guess i have to trust my gut feelings again.haha.was really nice of him to pei me though. THANK YOU ANGEL!

yay. a few more days till the tests are over. gogogo!

2006-06-22T20:42:00.000+08:00

the choir concert is over! my whole day was spent in orchard hotel, my 2nd home.haha! had LOTS of waiting time so me and claudia formed the zi bi club. im the pres and we're recruiting! haha. somehow the choir seems cosy now even though our seniors have left. maybe we'll slowly get bonded x).we didnt do really well, but at least ms lim wasnt pissed.

had dinner with mommy and juian after the concert. cld have gotten someone to join us for free lar. shd have just randomly asked someone.haha. i love my mommy x).

i had a terrible haircut today though. but regrets after haircuts is such a usual thing for me. used to it.haha! but i really have coconut head lar. haha.

yay.mathilda is in. wheee.

2006-06-19T08:31:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED DADDY'S DAY! hahas.

i had one of the worst fathers day ytd. my parents werent on talking terms and my dad was all short tempered and everything. he didnt even speak us during lunch. the tense atmosphere just really scared me. it all started with oversensitiveness. he thought me mum was being sacarstic and jealous when she said something, but to her, she merely made a comment. haha. childish lar. but arent couples like that all the time?haha.

had dinner at prego on sat. the food was heavenly! next time i shall take pics! haha.but i smelled of cheese after that. really reminded me of the italy times. haha.how i miss them so x(. and i finally got to shop with mommy! were enjoying our time shopping for bags when dad just hurried us home cuz of the world cup =/.haha.

ive got to take my tyses from gerard later. urgh.i dun really feel like meeting him.sch's starting in a week.common tests will be over soon.yay.hopefully i get to build frenships which are much better than now. haha.

-back to bed x).

2006-06-17T08:37:00.000+08:00

choir prac ytd made me realise how much i miss the seniors x(. like the previous pract,not many pple turned up. haha. lunch-ed w gerard at pastamania. was really indecisive to whether i shd have met him. but i still did anyway. haha. well, talked lots basically bout sch life. whenever im with him, i just feel like things havent changed a bit. but he's no longer the gerard i loved. that gerard has long vasnished. poof! haha. and with that disappearance, there comes another light in my life x).hehe.

i can hear differentiation calling out to me lar. HJ NEEDS TO DO SOME PRODUCTIVE WORK. rahhs.

ohya! ive realised there has been an increase in squashed snails arnd my neighbourhood. like wtf. why do animals always have to bear the evil consequences on human's carelessness?! the poor things were innocent lar. all pple had to do was watch where they were going. haha.

moral of the day : WATCH WHERE YOURE WALKING. you might destroy something's family if u dont x)). hehe.

2006-06-15T20:40:00.000+08:00

im really smiling from ear to ear x). who says girls need diamonds to make them smile. haha.

A.As gathering today! i really miss A.As lar. relived the day of watching horror movie at stella's house. All the screamings and the eye-covering.haha.stella,didi,kt and yk taught me how to play bridge!yay! can finally play with them next time x).haha.rewatched the village again.that shw is more of a comedy i tell you.haha. den legged back 1.2km =/. thought i saw someone on the way back. and all the memories just reappeared. urgh.

stupid yk is still sick. hopefully the herbal tea and the strepsils helped yeah? x). get well soon boy.

2006-06-14T18:49:00.000+08:00

ok.i quit. i quit trying.ive given it my best shot and yet he doesnt appreciate it. forget it. he isnt even half the guy i used to noe. urgh. GOAWAYGERARDCHUA.

went shopping with shiping ytd! had fun talking bout everything under the sun and rummaging thru the pile of sales lar.that girl really understands me! haha. spent like 100+ on shopping but i didnt regret it x). saw this hot dress but we didnt buy it! oh no. and it was on sale!! haha. i dont like sales. they tempt you to buy everything x).haha.oh ya, from now on, shiping's my official memory-chaser! haha x).

yay. ive got an angel to disturb now! haha.alright.i'll better be off to rest.

2006-06-13T08:27:00.000+08:00

QUADRIPLE YAY! my angel's back today, my bestie is back, and we're gonna have an A.A gathering. plus im going shopping with shiping later!

the past few days made me learnt that actually my mum really does love me. even though she isnt as generous as my dad, but she tries to give us whatever she can. my family hasnt been on a v. smooth ride financially, but she still bought me and my sis a new hp for no reason. and she took a day off to bring me and my sis for hi tea and shopping!her legs arent working v well and yet she peied me walk from shop to shop ytd x). She doesnt earn as much as my dad and is struggling w all her bills, but yet she rather spend her money on me and my sis than herself. and she really wants to noe whats going on in our lives.so, my new resolution of the remaining half yr is to be nicer to her! x)). hehe

on a not-so-good note, ive been in contact w gerard recently. n honestly speaking, he brings out the dark side of me? im more prone to being unhappy when i talk to him den anyone else. all i think about is all the shit he has caused me. so perhaps keeping in contact w him isnt such a good idea after all.

huijuin, its time you start mugging EFFECTIVELY.

2006-06-09T15:52:00.000+08:00

i cant believe i spent like 2 hrs arguing with gerard over msn. he said im too naive to think that things can be just like the way they were before, as in us being friends. he said i was too immatured. hello lar. only immature pple are unable to be friends with their exes. crazy guy. why in the world did i give up so many things for that bastard?

thankfully choir was great today! though only 17 pple turned up but we had quite an enjoyable session i think. XQ makes a good SC x). haha. today abels leaving for deseru. e lousy boy is gonna enjoy while his bestie is rotting here in spore =/.haha! i had a great time on my date with agnes today. went TYS n popiah hunting. we're muggeres-in-training ok! and we talked lots bout sec sch days. ah wells. time really flies.

i miss my guardian angel n his random smses. 4 more days x).

2006-06-06T20:35:00.000+08:00

ive spent the hols watching green forest. im so in love with OWEN JING. ahhhhs.

right. this post is dedicated to my dearest flirting shi fu, yk! haha. he's leaving for czech for choir comp tonight. so jiayouu alright! no matter what the results, rmb as long as uve tried ur best, u wldnt have any regrets. there wldnt be any "if i had done this..." cuz uve tried x). dont be discouraged easily k! its gonna be stressful. but i noe my angel can make it! right! haha. im sure my prayers wld come true x).

Before u can do well, must take care k! dun fall ill before the comp! dont play too much. get enough sleep ok! haha. BYEBYE angel. pls do not be a real angel ar! ALL THE BEST x).

2006-06-04T08:20:00.000+08:00

YAY!!JONATHAN LEONG x)).

had a rawking pw session at bugis on fri. i was the earliest!haha.after waiting for like 30 mins, yuquan and weiquan came. had some collating fun which proved that my maths seriously CMI. haha. i spent 12 bucks on food cuz it didnt fill me!! stupid weiquan suaned me somemore! oh ya, tea leaf eggs which are too tea-ish arent nice.bleah!window-shopped with elaine,yq and sumin later in the day, which caused me and sumin rotten legs after that. haha. but i had fun with them x))!

ytd was mr goh's wedding! but i cldnt go x(.i cldnt even go for the choir elections la. but ive heard e results. thanks sumin x)! haha. at the rate im going, my social life would be as active as my mum's =/. bahh. its time i planned my hols are carry my plans out. haha.

Gerard can so not be a teacher cann! he'll end up like the TPJC teacher. haha!

right. IM SO IN LOVE WITH GREEN LIGHT FOREST. shall waste my time watching it x).yay.

2006-06-01T13:05:00.000+08:00

YK's concert ytd! haha. met ziyuan at city hall to buy a flower for yk before heading down to raffles place to meet jingwen and yk2. surprisingly, ziyuan is rather talkative leh. i used to think he was the "dun talk to me" kind. haha. had trouble searching for food before i settled for papaya soy milk and beancurd =/. when we reached VCH, i realised i didnt get a spoon so throughout the concert i was eating beancurd with the bent cover. how unglam is that! haha. i really have to give it up to the tpjc choir lar. their songs all require brain work. it must have been really tiring.haha.

stupid yk doesnt move when he sings! so funny. haha.seeing him perform reminds me of the andss choir days. how i miss them so.haha. oh ya, and yk had a scandalous night with his scandal! haha.

im finally done with econs VA. its a real photocopy of the notes lar. i didnt understand anything. ive finally opened up and told someone about how things are. I may regret telling him those things. but heck it lar. we both lead different lives now x). im still confused with what im feeling inside though. bahhs.

2006-05-30T20:22:00.000+08:00

im supposed to be econs VA-ing and im here =/.hw efficient ya? haha. i spent half the day trying to crap out the econs stuff. totaly dunno how to do. market structure is so gonna kill me.urgh. i just hope i dun pull down my grp members' marks! i hope a miracle happens. hehe.

i was desperate to go for some shopping today but nobody was free. just realised my life revolves arnd only a few close friends. and somehw my frens are all busy recently x(. thank god for my sister who was nice enough to town with me x). i dropped by queensway before that and gt terrible siler FBTs! so ugly! haha.

towning was nice x).its always best to shop with my sis if i really wanted REAL things.haha. i bought 2 tops, a pair of slippers and 2 belts. and i only regretted buying one belt! im amazed x). so proud of myself. haha. pigging out was nice. crispy floss crepes are highly recommended x)! haha. THANKS JUIAN!

why do i have this feeling? is it cuz im used to things? or is it otherwise? ah wells. let nature take its course x).

2006-05-29T19:51:00.000+08:00

chem SPA is finally over! yays. did the exam in a terrible state of mind so naturally, it sucked. i did the prac wrongly at first, so i had like 6 readings! haha. think i got marked down for that. and i crapped out my results cuz i was too lazy to explain anomaly results. hopefully the "marker" doesnt find out larr.

i so dun understand market structure! wtf. haha. but i met a new friend called nicholas though. its super obvious he's a flirt. but he seems like a nice fren.haha. and i still dun like the cj guy and girl. haha =/.oh yar, and theres this really cute couple from SAJC. heard they were childhood friends. so sweet lar. haha.

sometimes, some pple are just meant to be close friends x).

2006-05-29T19:40:00.000+08:00

CANTABILE ytd! met wenhao,annarine,nina and sumin in the morn for discussion. and na-jie was an hour late lar! haha. then me and sumin had to leave in the midst of shopping.wth=/.so i rushed to buy a polo tee at oxygen on 50% sale! haha. i love GSS x).

rehearsal at acs barker was rather alright except for the unhappiness due to the technical faults. didnt noe why the seniors were so unhappy. After a long while of eye rotting, the concert finally started. pple said it was great x).its just different from other concerts.

my parents came to watch. and stupid YK bluffed me! he said he wasnt going but he did lar! BOO! haha. i was touched when he smsed me good luck in the morning and that he waited for me to end and that he came all the way just to watch the concert x). so i shall forgive him for bluffing me lousy boy xP!haha.

the J2's are leaving le. wonder whats gonna become of the choir x((.

2006-05-27T08:58:00.000+08:00

i just spent the morning scrolling through my "friends" in friendster. im amazed at the no of pple i thought were my friends,but strictly speaking,they are just aquaintances. haha. bahhs.

alright. ytd was one of few days i went to choir with a smile! all thanks to the GREAT SPORE SALE x). and of cuz sumin,elaine,jen and yuquan who went towning with me x). though it was short,but the sight of sales really cheered me up. plus the fact that ive ponned my gp test for 432445 times.hehe.but i shd really change my attitude lar.

ive recently been updated about my family's finanial situation. like wtf. dad is giving me money to shop while he's in some deep shit? wheres the logic? haha.so im really on a budget now. and sumin shall be my financial advisor! haha.

ive no idea whether im happy or sad that the hols are here.its a mth without my 06s14,without my daily yong tau foo and dessert. its a mth full of "overthinking".haha =/

ohyar, the concerts tml! yay. kinda excited. and im superr excited for TP choir concert! i hope deb goes for the concert lar.then we shall have bitching sessions bout the prominent yk in the first row! wheeeee. haha.

i miss my besties! lets meet up some day to SHOP! haha.

2006-05-23T21:28:00.000+08:00

i had a LOONG and sucky day. as much as i dun wanna believe it, everything is really weighing me down. i should have just gone to poly. but nvm.since ive chose this path,i'll live with it x).

2006-05-21T12:22:00.000+08:00

ohmy!i spent the whole morning changing my template!urghh. FINALLY its done.haha.

ytd was FUNTASIA! had choir performance in the morn for college day. somehw i feel v. zi bi during choir pracs.i nvr seem to feel like talking to anyone. just feel like sitting in a corner. haha. i shd stop it lar. after some LOONG waiting, i had to rush off with felicia for tuition and rush back for FUNTASIA.haha.thanks to my mum,i was able to meet didi and wong. they didnt seem too happy though. dunno why.

overall,FUNTASIA was abit small? yupp. and there was a real shortage of stalls selling drinks. so naturally, our cls did well! earned 2672 bucks! haha. i was desperately trying to waste my 3obucks!was despo enough to buy popiah skins!i had fun though esp when i went crazy after 5.haha.after returning home after tuition,gerard pissed me off.urgh.i cant be bothered anymore lar.

was supposed to go for CIP this morn but i cldnt wake up.haha! but im off for the HC choir concert soon =/.

PLEASE COME FOR THE NJ CHOIR CONCERT! for tix, ask me x)

2006-05-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

yay.i dont blog that often anymore.hehe.this week was very short for me.due to my eye infection,i didnt go to sch on tues and wed. and ive to apply medication to my eyeball every hr.ouch.haha.the highlight of the week was ANDERSON SEC CHOIR CONCERT! the juniors were great lar.despite not having a musical, they still managed to make the whole concert interesting. ms lim was really happy with them because the sound was still up to standard. keep it up juniors x).

sushi-buffeted with yukai that day again.wheee.it shall be our weekly affair.haha!that cruel boy made me eat some pregnant fishies!but they were yummy lar x).had lots of fun laughing my head off lar. everytime we meet sure laugh like siao.haha.shiping joined us later on and we walked arnd orchard before heading for the concert.as usual,the bitches (me and yk) were at work during the concert bitching bout the sngs girl.haha!

Chem test and SPA test were BAD.i was only wearing ONE contact that day so i wasnt really in the mood.but still,i just got 5/10 for MCQ.wth.haha.and there were MANY MANY things i didnt write for SPA.urgh.someone treat me to go SPA relax k!okok.LAME.haha

FUNTASIA tml! cant wait. im sure it'll be fun with lots of food.yay.heard didi and kitty are coming down x).a.a's unite! haha. lousy yk isnt free though. booos.but tml will be a LONG day for me,with tuition up till 930pm =/.

OHYA. please come support the NJCHOIR at CANTABILE XIX. 73opm. ACS barker. 28th may. 12 bucks. anyone just contact me if u want tix alright!

and im suffering from cash-defficiency. help.

2006-05-16T21:07:00.000+08:00

whee.ive finally got my new blog add.i love grunting! haha.ive decided to let things go.enjoy my current life and forget bout him.forget bout everything that we've done x) and let nature take its course. hopefully this is the best way.

ytd,tingyang was a darling lar. the things he said bout gerard actually made me feel better. thanks BOY x).haha. my cls had fund raising today. sold popcorn and chocs x).im amazed lar.cheryl and yanqin they all managed to get it prepared within a day. pro! haha.we had fun as a cls lar.o6s14 really make my life feel more colourful.

on a not-so-good note, ive got really red and swollen eyes.i cldnt even open them during gp lesson.our clsroom was SUPER dirty.tingyang and aaron had to clean the room lar.haha. struggled thru the day and walked arnd bishan with the eye which looked as though it was bleeding. im sure i looked like a chiobu lar =/.haha.

as a result of that,ive got 2 days of mc! yay. and i have to apply medication and eye drops every hour and rest for 5 mins! as usual, i end up sleeping!! haha.

anyway,did u noe a person who lies is called a LIAR? yk thought me the spelling of liar.yay. im excited for the ANDERSON SEC CHOIR CONCERT tml x).

2006-05-14T11:00:00.000+08:00

the worst feeling anyone cld feel is being in heaven for one min and in hell the next.

perhaps i shd stop lying to myself that im alright.

2006-05-12T11:08:00.000+08:00

alden sent me these info bout sept and oct babies cuz he thought im still w gerard =/.lousy! anyways! he's so cute now!! a bit flirty look.but still! nice!

September baby
active and dynamic. decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. strong mentality. loves attention. diplomatic. consoling,friendly and solves peoples' problems.Brave and fearless. Adventurous.Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoyed to make love. Emotional.Stubborn.Hasty.Good memory.Moving, motivates onself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

October Baby
Loves to chat.Loves those who love them.Loves to take things at the center.Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesnt pretend. gets angry often.Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless.Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily.Daydreamer.Opinionated.Does not care to control emotions.Unpredictable.Extremely smart,but definitely the hottest and sexiest of them all.

2006-05-12T08:40:00.000+08:00

its finally the weekends!its has been some time since i had proper rest. i did lots of thinking for the previous few nights and now im mentally and emotionally exhausted. ive got no idea why ive got red eyes now. hope it gets better thru by today. haha. but sch has really made me feel much better despite everyone arnd me getting stressed and all.haha.

to begin,my frens are starting to be stressed(except a few slackers like me though)haha.theyve been mugging practically everyday.and its quite obvious in their change of attitude.as for the few like me,we cant even mug in the library when we want to.its funny how a grp of frens can consist of extremities.haha.

wenhao is now the "co-owner" of my hp.any enquires,please kindly approach him.haha.its funny how he can be entertained w my hp lar.so cute.just like a little kid.me and him started a "blog" on my hp.and sumin is joining in.wheee.he noes my hp much better than me lar.and i really really believe he's a kid at heart now.haha.

i haven been v consistent in my participation in choir and i feel really bad. ohno.i havent memorized my scores and havent been for practice x(.haha.ive got to find some time to mug my scores. PLUS. the anderson sec choir concert wld clash w our college day rehearsal! it means we prob cant go for the concert. but i really want to!! urgh.

I met up with yk for the MJC choir concert on wed. i was really touched he had to skip choir to meet AND he got caught for it! it was a nice bimbo-himbo exchange session! haha. still laughing bout how many statements we've made.haha. and its the first time i bought flowers!haha. and im still smiling bout the fact he treated me to the concert and he paid for the flowers! haha x)). nice HORNY boy.haha.

ANDERSON SEC SPEECH DAY ytd! it has been mths since ive seen the 05 batch of pple.i miss them so much.A.As were finally reunited.LOUSY harmoc pres and secretary! haha.i was back to my 2nd home lar.all the familiar faces and all.but qiao didnt come!! miss suaning her! daryl's grp was as irritating as ever,fariz is still mr mature,shiping is still as rela-involved and mr ang was as annoying just like last time too (except he's FAT).haha.

i felt touched once again when someone was so sensitive x).i wonder how can guys really differ so much larr!tsk tsk.i was quite pissed with my parents though. they still suspect that im lying to them lar. wth.its been so long and theyre still liddat?wont they ever trust me?!.maybe the worst thing i cld have done last time was to get caught for lying.its a consequence i seem to have to live with from now on.

2006-05-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

ive been tagged by cheryl and shaun. so here are the 10 random facts about me.

1.im loyal when i really love someone.

2.i dont look out for guys.

3.ive only really loved ONE guy in my 16.5 years x).

4.i dont like to be in the center of attraction.

5.ive changed a lot since sec2 in ALL aspects.

6.my dream is to help.

7.i dont understand pple easily and tend to trust the wrong pple. thats y i always get bluffed. hehe x).

8.PW is my fav sub, followed by free periods!

9.im NOT dao. im shy. -blush.

1o. i love to hang pple up on fans and slap them.whee.

5 pple to be tagged.
-yk
-jillian
-stella
-jabez
-sumin
8

2006-05-07T09:55:00.000+08:00

i accidentally blurted out something i shdnt have. ohno. i feel like im such a bad friend. bleahs. but i dunno how to make things better. i cant take back what i said. i sure hope she's not pissed.

am i really so replaceable? things which have happened just proved that relas are fragile. maybe it was just a fling. i dunno. i just dont wanna think anymore. whether im really replaced not, it doesnt matter, or rather, i wanna tell myself it doesnt matter. hahas.

BIG BIG thanks to the little boy, jabez for his words of wisdom! haha. and tingyang! for his LATE REPLIES! wahaha. and wilson for his nice music! guys are much better off as friends. when they become someone closer, expectations of them wld prove to be unrealistic. haha.

2006-05-07T09:31:00.000+08:00

whee. youre featured! im such a good friend! haha. so u better teach me!

2006-05-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

im shifting my blog. ask me for the add x). anyway, a HUGE thanks to tingyang. those little words of encouragement really worked on me.

2006-05-02T21:04:00.000+08:00

i cant believe i survived the day w/o my hp. im proud to say im becoming independent of my hp now x).it wasnt as bad as i thought.haha. my dad sent my hp for repairs and they said i just didnt charge my hp. got a scolding from my dad lar.

played a cute game with jen,elaine,sumin,xiaoxian,renuka and shihua during free period. we can become fortune tellers already lar.haha. then i left to play a little bball with gori. whee. i can shoot! haha. GPP was due today and my grp hasnt done anything. we came up with a gpp during pw lesson though. aint we pro! haha.We're so lucky we have yuquan.haha.

after sch,had an interesting talk with jen and elaine before i had to leave for choir
x(. during choir, i had a heart to heart talk with choir bestie and laywang. i guess theyre right. i should change. i just dunno what to do from now on. anyway, thank u choir bestie and laywang x)! i feel much better now.

i had a rather thought-full night. spent the night thinking thru lots of stuff. weighing the pros and cons. asking my heart and brain. i thought bout everything he said. but ive yet to reach a conclusion.

-off to get rid of my eye bags x).

2006-05-01T22:02:00.000+08:00

somethings still really hurt. esp when ive seen who ive become. when i think bout the changes in our feelings. it really does hurt. im leaving. it'll be some time till im back. goodbye. sorry if ive been a pain ever since uve left. i didnt mean it. from now, ive got no chance to irritate u. goodbye. i'll be back a whole new person.

history repeats ;

2006-04-28T22:11:00.000+08:00

something has happened to someone close to me. it really dissapted me lar. wheres the girl who used to believe that there wld eventually be someone out there for me? its slowly dissappearing. maybe ive grown out of that naive stage. but reality does play a part lar. it seems that reality is just trying to prove me wrong. i hate it when history just repeats itself on my close friends cuz i understand the hurt theyre going though.what jabez said is probably right. its a blessing to be single x).

im still down with flu and some other crap. so ive missed my napfa AGAIN. ive been pretty busy in sch trying to catch up on my work and handle stupid PW. now i can really eat dust lar. totally far behind. but i wont give up! hahas.

im such an impulsive buyer i could just slap myself. i actually bought new nike shoes while walking arnd with elaine. i didnt even need it lar. and when i brought them home, my mum told me my dads gonna be in BIG financial shit. then i stared at my shoes. but since ive already got it, ive just got to persuade myself it suits me, though it terribly doesnt.

sometimes i really wonder if he genuinely cares or im just somone who's there to help him pass time when he's bored. ohwells. i should just forget it x). oh yar, and i forgot bro's birthday today.so,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN LIM ZE RONG!!
may u get a better gf soon! hahas.

2006-04-25T09:25:00.000+08:00

ive been tagged by yanqin and shaun.so here it is.

Name 20 people you can think of right now at the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 20 people.

#1. yukai
#2. Zhihao
#3. Tingyang
#4. Sumin
#5. Elaine
#6. Jennifer
#7. Yuquan
#8. Jillian
#9. Stella
#1o.Kaiting'
#11.Gerard
#12.Marcus
#13.Waiji
#14.Shaun
#15.Wenhao
#16.Luan
#17.Fangyi
#18.Qiao
#19.Jabez
#20.Kevin

how did u meet 14?
he's my o6s14 clsmate. and he's in my pw grp!

what wld u do if u never met 1?
ohmy.i wld prob still be stuck in the darkness of my life.i wld prob have lost faith in every guy already.

what wld u do if 20 and 9 dated?
whoas. think she likes his kinda look.but nahh.theyre not compatible. i wld oppose to it. cuz he'll hurt her ultimately.

did u ever like 19?
yar. as a FRIEND.

wld 6 and 17 make a good couple?
NO!fangyi wld bully her,call her short meanie too!haha.

describe 3
he's a lousy boy who likes to disturb the girls in cls. esp me and jen! but he has a nice character inside. noisy on the outside,but rather quiet on the inside. I GUESS.

do u think 8 is attractive?
of course! she's PRETTY cann. even my other friends say so.

tell me smthin bout 7
She's a nice girl who does her work. she's my PW grp leader. reads LOTS. and may be crappy at times.

do u noe any of 12's family?
well,yeah. his WHOLE family. haha.

what's 8's fav tee?
i dunno?! anderson PE tee? haha!

what wld u do if 18 confesses that he/she likes you?
aww. i'll suan her that im under 40kg den freak out.

what lang does 15 speak?
english,chinese and malay with a little mix of kiddie lang.

who is 9 going out with?
SQUIDDY LEE.

how old is 16 now?
she's 17! lucky girl born in jan.

when was the last time u spoke to 13?
err. last yr?yeahs. it's been a long time. HINT HINT WAIJI.

what's 2's fav band/singer?
ERR. i dunno? he likes any one pretty.

wld u evr date 4?
NO! she belongs to weiquan. wahahah!

wld u ever date 7?
NO too!i nvr date my laopo de qingren de chourens.

is 15 single?
hmm. tricky que. but i THINK SO.

what's 10's last name?
WONG.

wld u be in a serious rela with 11?
wahh.this is such a coincedence. i WAS in one for two years till he left me.haha.

what sch does 3 go to?
NJC o6s14. the most rawking sch and cls.

where does 6 live?
ohno. i dunno? its on the other side of the world though.

what's fav thing bout 5?
she takes everything in her stride. and she gossips! haha.

have u seen 1 naked?
HELL NO? dont put weird images in my mind lar.

5 pple to be tagged.
-Jabez
-Luan
-Jillian
-Juian
-Fangyi

and we did it x).

2006-04-24T20:09:00.001+08:00

right.we just touched down this afternoon.and i miss bardolino already!we were so reluctant to come back lar.but reality is cruel.bleahs.the first 2 days there were really stressful with everyone pushing us to get back what we lacked,esp the girls. we were yelled at very often.but it was for a good cause lar.but eventually,we got a GOLD!and distinction in intepretation of the set piece x).After all the hard work,we finally got a gold x).i guess most of the credit goes to ms lim and the comm lar.they've really worked hard.

the place we stayed at was really BEAUTIFUL,just next to a lake which was as big as the sea.PLUS the fabulous gelatos,spags and pizzas.totally heavenly! haha.i cld eat like a few scoops of gelatos A DAY lar.the food there was really cheesy.so i kinda ended up puking everynight.yukai says ive put on 5ookg lar.whee.

we went for many tours in milan and verona.visited juliet's house!haha.and some really nice churches x).pics will be up soon!stupid me forgot to buy memory card lar.so ive got limited shots.

i was reminded bout many memories when i was there.i felt more guilty than ever.its been a long time.but im still left with that scar.it hurted.i told myself to really let everything go. dont hold anymore hopes. but im back here. nvm.

there were a few moments in the trip that were really demoralising and all. i wished so much that yukai and abel were arnd to encourage me and all. but this trip has made me regain what ive lost 2 yrs ago.emotional independence.and im really glad ive found it back x).

abel said he prayed for me.yay.thanksthanks.and yukai sent me an sms on the competition day to wish me good luck!so did jabez,shaun,tingyang,jen and elaine! haha.thanks everyone! yanqin volunteered to help my catch up with schwork too! thanks dear x).

now,ive got to tone down and get into the momentum.but before that,ive got to recover from my flu.rahhs.

and we did it x).

2006-04-24T20:09:00.000+08:00

2006-04-17T08:24:00.000+08:00

i ponned sch today.not sure if it was a wise decision though.hope mr chew wont rmb i owe him an mc by the time im back =X.

my sis has been really sweet. she cried ytd cuz she said she wld miss me. then she sacrificed her hor fun for me. and she lent me her mp3 x).sweet little girl. though i dont say it, but im gonna miss her buzzing arnd the most. i wld miss her childishness and all. doubt shes reading. but still,

I'LL MISS YOU JUIAN x).

actually im glad im born in such a family. they may be weird at times,but they're much better than others ba. my granny made bird nest's soup for me. and my uncle gave me money to spend though he has some financial probs x). my parents got me EVERYTHING i needed,specially just for the trip.

i just went to novena for prayers. it has been some time since ive went church.i feel good now x).there was this man who got burnt and needed money for surgery. he was wearing business clothes but i still gave him money lar.it's pitiful enough that he has to resort to asking for money at church x(.hope he gets well.

i feel really fortunate to be what i am now. i may not be pretty,smart,talented or have the best complexion arnd,but ive got many things many pple dont x).ive got friends who dont look down on me juz cuz im not a pretty girl.ive got a family who cares. i may not be the richest arnd, but im able to have as much food as i want. im not the most outstanding in anything i do, but at least i have a life x).

alright.i'll be leaving in 6 hrs x).goodbye pple. dont sms me too much yeah? very ex! haha. take care.

2006-04-16T08:52:00.000+08:00

ahhhs. one day left. haha.i dont feel so excited anymore x(.prob cuz i'll miss my friends. like no one to tell me lame jokes over sms when im feeling down for a week! haha. but i wont feel down one. WE must not. haha. yay.im starting to pack my luggage. just realised im bringing LOADS of stuff. i bet i'll be carrying the bags which are of same weight as me lar =/.haha.

ive finally met up with yukai!nice angel rushed down as fast as he cld.yay. cant believe we spent 5 hrs eating and chatting! first stop,thaiexpress! i guess yk didnt really like it but it was MY day.haha. the waitress said she wld help me request for less chilli but it was superr spicy lar! even yk cldnt stand it.haha. so clever me decided to soak it in water =/. so hilarious. think the waiter was pissed with us for asking for so much water. haha.after that we relived our childhood days! did some art thingy! so fun! with all the little kids.haha. wanted to watch ice age 2 but tix were sold out. so we ate at cafe cartel again! haha. but nvm. cuz there werent tix,i managed to chat so much with him x).

he pei-ed me to register for my tuition and OMG. why is SHE is my cls! ewws. guess i'll be in that cls for prob only a mth. haha. boos. yk is gonna be one of the pple im gonna miss when im in italy. bleahhs.

im not sure if i shd go back for lessons tml. im not really feeling v.well x(. hope i'll get better soon.-prays. anyway,HAPPY EASTER x).

peegooloo replies..

secret admirer : wahh. u sure u noe me? first time in 2 years someone said that bout
me.hmm,i shall treat it as its true then. im in self delusion. haha!

mavis : heyy. why arent u excited? yupps! pack bag today lar. gogogo!

FAT MEANIE : MEANIE! i miss youu! i shall pop down at NYP so u can give me a treat! i noe u'll miss me. dont deny it.hehe.
muahaha.

2006-04-15T08:07:00.000+08:00

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

You Should Be a Song Writer

You have the ability to evoke emotion, tell a story, and hook someone...
In a very small amount of words, perhaps with some deft rhyming.
Even if you can't write music, you can sure write compelling lyrics.
Lyrics so good, people will have them stuck in their heads!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Are 33% Selfish

In general, you are a very giving person who treats others very well.
But at times, you insist on getting your way - when it matters most to you.

How Selfish Are You?

2006-04-14T08:18:00.000+08:00

whee. sch has been getting better! ive got to noe some clsmates a little better and i like what i noe x).haha. im still sucky in schwork. so wth. PW totally sucks!almost the whole cls except renuka,matthew and eileen didnt fufill task requirements lar.haha. and good news!mr chew no longer nags at my hair! haha.

i feel so proud to be a chorister! haha. yay.we'll be off in about 3 days.im in the same grp as royston,de wei and sumin!we're frantically in search of an kettle so if any kind soul has one,please tell me x).haha. yeah. the hotel doesnt have one =/.but nvm.im still looking forward to going! so looking forward till i dunno if i wanna go sch on mon.hehe. i wanna say byebye to o6s14.but ive got stuff to do too x(.guess the pressure there wld really heat things up.we're the only asian choir lar! haha. we MUST come back with a smile on our faces ya x)?

Im sure i'll enjoy the trip there. but i'll miss my friends x(.i'll miss crapping with yk and zhihao,the 2 nicest pple on earth!haha. its only gonna be a week. but its gonna be a week without smses! its been a routine already. and i wont be used to it. STILL. im excited! whee.

some pple claim that they only make promises when they mean it. but do they? some things are just a load of bullshit lar. urgh. looking at the way things are now, i regret doing somethings. and i nvr seem to be able to shake it off. now i understand by what pple mean when they say it has "effects no one wld ever see".

2006-04-09T08:35:00.000+08:00

i conclude that im TERRIBLE at studies. im lagging really far behind.haha. and topical test are on tues! wth.i havent even read the notes! and PI.ohno. im inspiration-less. wld someone enlighten me? haha.

it wld be a disaster if me,sumin,yuquan,jen and elaine were given a task to shop for something. it wld nvr be accomplished.haha. me and sumin wld spend half the day thinking if we shd buy while the other 3 wld buy other stuff. haha. me and sumin were searching for bags the whole afternoon on fri and we came back with shampoo and soap for the trip! haha. and! we went back to far east AGAIN on sat. sumin didnt even buy her bag lar! cuz we were fitting on clothes without buying. whoops.

went for nj talentime fri evening. shaun looked so different lar.he looks so confident on drums!the seniors in front of us were practically infatuated with him lar. haha. me,nina,yanqin,eileen,sumin and ade were like screaming for him.haha. pride of our cls x). cheered for all the choir pple. they were so amazing lar. majority of the winners were from choir cann. proness. wonder how the choir wld be without the seniors x(.

yay. 8 days and counting..

2006-04-09T08:33:00.000+08:00

What type of Fae are you?

ohmy. its accurate, i think. haha.

locked up ;

2006-04-05T20:55:00.000+08:00

this is gonna be one of the last times i'll be blogging on weds. so rare that my dad isnt using the com.haha. i finally got to meet my dearest A.As on mon x).at j8's cafe cartel.crapped lots.just like our usual selves. missed them really lots lar. im so glad theyre doing fine.haha. met my paedophilic friend and his victim. haha=PP. they look so cute together x).

i'll be off in 2 weeks x).but its a really weird time to go italy lar.im gonna miss so many things! im gonna miss my chenweilian concert,gonna miss having napfa with my clsmates and gonna miss cultural nite! wth rite. but nvm. guess its all worth it. choir prac has been getting more fruitful. guess we arent in the full swing of the competition yet, but we're getting there slowly but surely x). all the way NJCHOIR!

oh ya, there was a career fair today.me,sumin and wenhao were like grabbing goodies lar.haha.so funny.police force and navy have height restrictions lar. wth. haha. looks like ive got to be a teacher! bleah.met sammie and debbie on the way back so gave them a lift.they motivated me to excercise more! but i nvr will have the determination to.haha.lucky of them to be in the same cls lar. but i love my cls the way it is now.o6s14 rawks x).

ive been doing some thinking. and with the remarks someone made, ive sorted out my thoughts le. ive learnt from my mistakes. im sure he did too. as much as i wanna do my "corrections",i understand its not the time yet ba. aiyar,if i listed out whatever i realised,it wld prob take the whole night. haha.

masquerade ;

2006-04-02T08:21:00.000+08:00

many things have happened since the last post. it's as if the whole week has been a masquerade.fake smiles everywhere.this week,i learnt more bout someone and my impression of him is getting worse with everything i learn.i'm always meeting the wrong kinda pple.haha.im gonna hurt someone and i seriously dont wanna do it.im now more afraid of hurting pple den pple hurting me.but if i dont,things wld get more complicating.and im tired.

at the same time,ive been going thru emotional turmoil.many many mixed feelings.thankfully ive got my friends to remind me what a nice life i have now.im now trying to just forget all the probs im facing now.they wld prob get better on their own x).ive regretted staying back here.but now,i just have to work hard.very hard to be exact.my studies totally CMI lar. i dont noe how to do ANYTHING x(.

on a lighter note,SOUNDSCAPE o6'went well! totally enjoyed it lar.got some positive feedback.so yay x).haha.it isnt perfect or neither is it competition standard. but its a great morale booster to the choir pple. we shall get the gold in verona. go choir! haha. pple from o6s14 came down to support us. im really happy lar.they're the reason i go to sch for x).haha.thanks o6s14 x).

oh yar.and i had besties outing this week!met up with zhihao.finally able to crap w him.as usual,we met up to eat! haha.he slacker lar. sch haven even started. booo.but im glad i got to noe him. cuz he's one of the pple who've been by me all these while x).

i miss my A.As and yk mamasan terribly. lets meet up soon alright jiemei men?haha!miss the simple sec 1 days. miss going shopping for pple's long overdue bd gifts tgt.haha. stupid yk moved half the globe away.booo.now no more papaya soymilk w u le!thankfully we're going for mj concert. or i wont get to see him in his nice uniform=PP.haha.

i love my friends x). light up my life. hehe.

face up to the music ;

2006-03-26T08:31:00.000+08:00

ive been so lazy to blog lately lar. have been busy w sch and choir. our pre trip concert is on this coming fri. yay! dont think we are v prepared but its ok. we'll make it x). i love choir now. its really one of the few joys in my life. haha. im pretty excited bout the italy trip. first time w/o my parents x). ms teo said we wld be staying at a 2-star hotel =/. haha. worse than hotel 81 cann. but nvm. save money! haha. and my sleeping buddy is sumin! think both of us wld be late all dat long. haha.a big thanks to my cls pple who are going for the concert k? really appreciate all of your support! haha.

towned w elaine,yuquan,jen and sumin on fri.so we took neos.there was this stupid bunch of andss pple who cut our queue. but the lesbian couple behind us chased them out. so woohoo. haha. walked arnd den as usual, me and sumin were late for choir. haha.

it hurts really bad when the one u love keeps thinking youre against him.esp when all u want is to see him smile.having chose the wrong path and not being able to turn back is hurting enough. now this. esther and shawn are planning to get married in 4 yrs and they are already planning. it may be a bit foolish,but its really sweet.as much as i do not want to, it reminded me of the past. the past when we used to count down to 1o yrs time. now we're left w 8 yrs. if only we tried more.

im really grateful ive got nice friends. i really am x).

cash deprived ;

2006-03-23T20:19:00.000+08:00

ever since i lost my wallet,ive been really cash deprived la. so many expenses lar. but i do admit i wasted quite some money on things which arent neccessary at all. but nvm x). ive been rather busy w sch. i havent been skipping lessons. yay. but neither have i been doing work =/.

brand new o6s14,brand new teachers. the newcomers in s14 are nice la. theyre fun and friendly lar x).theres someone who kinda ostracizes himself. but he's nice too x).adeline has been transferred to my cls. hope she wld feel more comfortable in nj. can tell she isnt. haha.

the teachers are better now except our physics tutor. why is it still him! haha.our chem teacher is nice la. he isnt like any other nj teacher x). haha.now with better teachers, i better start studying.

many changes have occurred to me this week. ive got to sort out my thinking before i can blog bout it lar.haha. anyway! ive got chatterbox for you all! dont say cannot tag le arr! haha!

just to see him smile ;

2006-03-19T08:56:00.000+08:00

had a great day ytd. went for my ex-tuition distinction party at hyatt.wad a familiar place! haha. first time i talked so much w girls from tuition la.haha.the guys were busy getting horny over some super chio girl from sjc. haha.i was like stuffing myself w food la.

after that my tutor brought us to high end boutiques like LV,D&G,armani,bvgalri and some others. the girls didnt dare enter la. so i was always the first one who entered. some of the salespple knew me. so embarrassing la. haha. hmm,maybe i shd thank my dad for the exposure x).

went for a walk w gerard after that. went bag-hunting! haha. it brought back a lot of memories laa. esp when he had to pei me look for plaster for my blisters. felt touched x). sorry hor, ma fan u le. haha. den went to yoshinoya at j8 for a drink. had a long chat. im so glad we can chat like that w/o any sacarsm and all.anyway,he's officially my jie mei! haha.

talked about almost everything la. feel so comfortable w him. even if theres a long silence, i still dont feel awkward. honestly, i miss him lots. i miss everything la. but he's doing really well w/o me in his life,so i feel better that things ended up this way. at least now he can really sort out his priorities, have time to be w his friends, his bike and possibly, eperience another rela. he's such a loyal guy that if he is in a rela, it wld prob last for a long time. and by then, he wld have gotten over his ex very much. i'll prob feel sad then. but he'll be happy and thats all that matters x).

was suppposed to have dinner w marcus's family. but somehow it was cancelled. so smsed gerard.first time someone replied me so many times la.haha=PP. more talk bout memories. and something weird happened to justin that i cant stop laughing.haha!

i woke up missing gerard really lots. miss the times i ponned choir in the hols to go his hse. miss the times he got angry w me cuz i had gastric pains. miss the times he told me not to wear short skirts out. i really hope fate doesnt fail us. hope this break helps us understand and treasure each other more,and not bring us apart forever.

hefty price paid ;

2006-03-18T09:25:00.000+08:00

yay.i finally got back my wallet w no money inside.but nvm. at least i still have my ic! so ytd i had to go all the way to bukit gombak to retrieve the wallet. i was so ready to get a new wallet and like kinda start the term anew. but guess some pics wld always be arnd me.cant shake it off.

i realised prayers actually do work.haha. some nice pple prayed for me and whee.it worked x). ive paid 200bucks to learn to be more careful. but i think i'll revert back to my old self. haha.

i attempted to do some work ytd but failed terribly! only managed to do half of electronic structure. wth. im still left w trigo. MAJOR prob.haha.unfair la. justin managed to complete a lot of work while i only completed a 2-hr show on cannibalism in animals. was totally disgusting. but at least their reasons for killing each other are much more reasonable than humans.

maybe ignorance is bliss. im uncertain bout where i stand now. but somehow im not insecure. what a diff from the girl i was 3 mths ago.

birthday misfortunes ;

2006-03-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN! i dun think the blurblock's reading. but nvm.haha.

watched date movie today. was really crappy la. but funny AND horny. recommended for pple who have watched chick flicks. im so not the kind.haha.certain things happened in the cinema, as usual.haha. walked arnd lots before we left for home.

i lost my whole fucking wallet at newton. within 5mins, it was just gone la.200bucks,my IC,ez link cards,neos,other cards.no more! i shd have just spent all my money la. the 2oo bucks cld have really helped another person but no.now its just given to a thief. so now the only thing i can tell myself is maybe the theif is poor =/.

once again,zhihao was arnd to enlighten me over the phone and sms.tried contacting some pple but doubt they even cared. so decided to depend on myself. im lucky i have nice friends la. luan,jenn and fangyi waited for my at woodlands mrt to help me get out of the mrt station x). nice uncle let me get out free after i gave him a report. haha.

4/3 cls dinner was quite nice. i really enjoyed myself. it has been ages since we got togehter liddat to talk crap. missed everybody. esp the meanies,fangyi,fabian and qiao. used to disturb me so much last time. haha. borrowed money from luan all the time la. ohno. i feel bad. haha. oh ya, and i got half the buffet for $2.8o.whee. haha. those pple really made me forget my unhappiness. thanks guys x).

my parents are rather pissed w me cuz i nvr seem to change my careless habits. but nvm. i shall endure. today has made me see who my friends are and how much they care x).

spare me the pain ;

2006-03-16T21:23:00.000+08:00

quite many things have been happening recently. ytd i met gerard and sammie to buy graphic cals and my cards.all i can say is i portrayed a v.v.bad image of myself. but who cares.i am who i am.was really pissed at certain things so i seemed like a bitch,adding onto that,i wasnt really comfortable w other stuff.so ended up feeling terrible.

finally after that i met zhihao. he's nice la. pei me search for cookie stuff x). first encounter w an avocado drink which totally turned me off.even threw it away!haha. at night,gerard told me bout how he thought bout me.well, it reflected as a sort of mirror. and how much he actually understands me =/.but i'll change.i'll make sure he regretted giving me up. whee. zhihao was really a morale-booster ytd night la. he was encouraging me la. sometimes, encourages work better den demoralisers.

i realised the pple who have truly stood by me arent those i thought wld. i thought i was just another normal friend to them.but they really do care. take zhihao and yk for example x).on the other hand,those i thought wld stand by me havent been arnd all these time.

i dunno who's real or fake anymore. just spare me the pain and tell me cann?

jolly scandanavian smiles ;

2006-03-14T19:33:00.000+08:00

choir was fun! had a workshop by some finnish guy. he was so funny la. but somehow he managed to make us relax and yet sing well x). his advices are totally opp from ms lim's though.oh no. then who to listen to? haha. i forgot to get my passport photocopied. so dad had to bring it all the way to nj for me. and got a scolding for being irresponsible. oops. haha.

checked the cls listings.those who didnt change combi in o6s14 remained x).but zhirui and lays are leaving to so2 x(. there are quite many new pple in. hope theyre nice.i miss my o6s14 so much though its only 2 days into the hols. rahhs.

before choir i lunch-ed w my family at coperthrone hotel. food wasnt fantastic but the time spent togehter was just nice. i noe 2 pple are jealous i get to eat at hotels! wahaha. too bad=PP.

im having some doubts on meeting some pple tml. i really dunno la. i cant posibly stay out the whole day. and i wanna meet 3 pple. wth rite. so many things to be done tml. alter skirt,eat beef noodles,pressie-shopping.ohno! haha.

i havent been arnd for someone when he needed me. lousy me. bleah.im sorry.anyway! yk.u horny boy! i miss ur crap leh. ask me out someday ya? i want treats =PP! haha.

seasons of summer ;

2006-03-13T21:01:00.000+08:00

im really loving choir now. its one of the joys in my current life. though it may be really stressful and discouraging at times, but the pple there nvr fail to smile,just like xiangting and cherie. always getting scoldings cuz of the sops and yet they dont blame us. thank you girls x).

went to ps to hunt for adidas shoes. but it was a futile effort la. no size for me=(! haha. lunched before heading down to marina sq to get my avocado juice. unfortunately,i had to settle for tomato+lemon juice cuz avocado was out of stock. den ate ice cream! someone forced me to eat chocolate! yucky! haha.had a kinda heart to heart talk at yck after that.

i met gerard today. im so glad to see him. he's still looking as good as ever. as vulgar as ever.haha. we met george on the way too! still looking like a kid! haha.though the time spent together was short, i enjoyed it. i rarely had a chance to talk to him liddat. hopefully we'll have more of such meetings. meetings between good friends x). looking at his back disappearing slowly, i somehow really wanted to hug him.haha.

wounds will heal ;

2006-03-12T17:08:00.000+08:00

i had an emotional night. stayed up till 3. reminiscences,memories, and lots of tears.haha. once again,the stitches on my wounds have burst open.my heart is dead. now i just wanna appreciate the present. i didnt in the past. thats why im liddat now.

but i feel much better today x).fate does make a fool of pple. now that i want it to work, he doesnt want it to. haha. oh wells.theres nothing i can do but move on. i'll be happy and he will to. i just wanna see him happy. thats all. haha.

i really wanna thank zhihao!pei-ed me cry over the phone at till 1! thanks for always being arnd k? i owe u lots la! haha.dont worry bout me alright? im like grass. i will live in whatever conditions x). hehe.

get out before its too late ;

2006-03-11T14:57:00.000+08:00

sch has been alright recently. im so glad i have my friends. though i may not show it,but im really grateful for all the noise they've made,all the scandal's theyve created. we're may not be the most enthu bunch of pple,but i still love my cls.things in cls are simple. wish sch was the same.

someone has been confusing me pretty much recently. but now i kinda noe the truth.why do guys just have to do that la. why do guys just have to come and leave,one after another. my wound hasnt healed and now someone is rubbing salt into it. wtf. i guess the best friends are still those that have been arnd all along. im so tired. i guess all i can do is avoid,though theres no reason for me to.i just dont wanna be deluded anymore.

ohno. im seriously missing the past. the simple days.i just feel so frustrated. u gave me happiness and u took them away. and theres nothing i can do to get back that happiness now. u noe how helpless that feels. u didnt even give it a try. not even one last try. now u arent even around anymore.

god i feel fucked up now. fucking frustrating. i dun even noe how to do ANY work.and now this has to happen. i seriously wanna privatise my blog.

my new home ;

2006-03-08T20:06:00.000+08:00

chose my subj combi today.still sticking to 4h2.i have no idea why.haha. bought uniform today!and im broke now cuz i lent pple money! haha. got the smallest sized blouse but its still too big for me!so is the PE shirt! haha. and the uniform is super thick! im gonna miss anderson uniform so much la.

had bout 3 hr break till we had to go for econs lecture,followed by the enrolling of enrichment week activities. wahh. it was crazy mann!. me,jen,elaine,justin and kor tried working together to help queue at diff places. but the teachers didnt allow! wtf. as a result of being so slow, we got all the crap things. we're going on a field trip to chinatown,little india and kampong glam!haha! and we are gonna taste middle eastern food for 15bucks. rahh. kor had to sign up for more things though.haha.

had choir as usual. sops werent good today. but we managed to pull thru the last part. we were dismissed early la! before 6! haha.so i popped by the student lounge.its it's 1st birthday!aww. so many many pple were there for the celebration.was so noisy la. haha. something happened which made me even more confused now.somehow,i hope we wld be in the same cls.on the other hand i dont. oh no. im confused! haha.

im so glad to be back to this noisy place full of stairs. the faces have changed,but i just feel so comfortable to be back. its my 2nd home now.this is where i belong x).

i feel like privatising my blog. shd i?

gimme a sign ;

2006-03-07T21:14:00.000+08:00

i have nvr been so happy to be back in sch. unfortunately, i got caught by sharon phua the first thing i came ytd. somemore it was for something i didnt commit! rahhs.spent half the morning waiting for admin stuff to be settled. den went jc-hopping, from acjc to ajc. stupid aj took like 30mins to get my form signed so i went to orchard for sushi. was super late la. and being the blur me, i thought nj office closes at 4,while it actually closes at 5! so i wasted my money cabbing back to nj to submit my form! wth. urgh.

i saw all my lovely friends today! my one and only o6s14!and i saw kelly at acjc! poor girl. i wish she would be able to get back. our cls seems small. hopefully nj doesnt rearrange us.-prays really hard.

i wish someone would gimme a sign on what guys are thinking. i seriously dunno. i do not need to noe, but i want to. i feel uncomfortable. it somehow feels inappropraite.

why cant i have a filter paper ;

2006-03-07T20:32:00.000+08:00

i ponned half of the stupid orientation ytd.was a totaly waste of time and money. met justin and pple at orchard but they were late! boo! so i went to bugis to get my papaya soyamilk first x).i seriously missed my cls pple. was rmbering the time me,jen and elaine were there. haha. when the AC pple finally arrived,we went to watch FD3! the show is nice la. i highly recommend it! haha.justin was scared! den i was laughing my head off la. haha! the show's just plain gory yet funny. ohno.im turning into a sadist.

after that met agnes and claudia to get our gowns altered. spent like half the time looking for the shop! haha. den had dinner at subway and ice cream! nice nice x).wasnt before long then i left for home.

i really wanted to cheer yk up. i really wanted him to feel better.but somehow i dont think i did. why must it be liddat.cant my friends be happy x(.

anyway, guys are plain weird. i have totally no idea what they are thinking bout. urgh. im still so much happier with my girlfriends. they so sweet. cuz they made me feel so loved x). not like the guys. thanx yanqin,sumin,elaine,jen,yuquan,and everyone who wished me well x).

rare confusion ;

2006-03-05T18:38:00.000+08:00

i had a really boring day.just stayed at home in front of the tv and ate and napped.thats all. was more confused than ever though. there are pple who've been really caring towards me. they've always been arnd for me. and some friends who have been pei-ing me recently but dont truly care i think. or at least i dunno if they care. and theres another who i feel cares bout me,but he doesnt wanna show it for fear of letting his emotions rule his head.

when i consider who truly cares, all i think bout is him. but he doesnt seem to show it. even if i want anything to happen,he prob wldnt want. he wldnt want us to repeat history. but i just feel things are different now. im different. maybe if things were given a shot, it might work. i dunno. but all the rejections have made me lose faith.i just dunno what to do anymore. its been a long time since ive been confused liddat. help me.

peace of mind ;

2006-03-04T21:13:00.000+08:00

i had choir this morn.wahh. i was almost late cuz i had to rush to my dad's office to photocopy stuff. im down with sore throat so i didnt sing much though ms lim drilled us quite a bit. it was really tiring la.

after much waiting and counting down, time for lunch finally came la.me and sumin waited for yanqin,cheryl and nina before we headed over to taka for lunch. was supposed to go alter my gown. but i didnt.oops xP.haha. me,sumin,yuquan,elaine,jen and wanyi den headed over to fareast to eat. we didnt join the cls. i feel so bad la. everytime we have cls stuff, we wld be missing. sorry to the cls if we havent been arnd ok x).

subway has now become my fav fast food x). haha. we took neos! i look super weird la.but i shall put it up someday! haha. i was so tempted to buy many many things la. but whee. elaine said "u dont need it right? lets go!".haha. moreover, im kinda broke.haha.not before long, i had to leave. im so gonna miss o6s14. nvm. i shall be back! just u all wait! haha.

im feeling less and less pissed nowadays.there are definetly dissaptments.but i get over them pretty quickly. if i got upset with everything that didnt seem the way i thought it wld be,then life wld be tiring. haha. i still think of him. but i guess this kinda thing wont be reciprocated one. so oh wells.

anyway. IM SO SICK OF LOVE SONGS.

crossroads ;

2006-03-04T20:44:00.000+08:00

i planned to pon sch ytd to meet gerard for lunch.but due to some dissapting news, i cldnt. cuz i decided to go with what i wanted.it took myself a lot of courage to believe in myself,that i wld be better off towards this path. and im proud to say im getting more independent now.im far too sick of being dissapted for stupid reasons x).

when i reached nj,many pple were crying.wth la.njc takes in at partial 5! same as vjc!so many pple didnt get back.AND njc doesnt accept general appeals. so coldhearted la.while waiting for yk to arrive, i met justin.appeals galore!

ive got to say my opinion of SJI has changed dramatically.dramtically WELL.haha.but SJI juniors look like kids though.haha.so cute la x).

oh ya,i need to say a huge huge sorry to yk,who waited 1.5hrs for me. ytd was a busy day.ran to and fro from sch to orchard and back for 3 or 4 times! and yet,he still didnt get angry with me. sorry hor HORNY. haha. i had fun crapping with u though. shd go out more often ya? x).

ytd was a tiring day for me la. lots of moving bout. lots of different emotions. but its all over x). thanks to all those who've encouraged me alright?

stuck between.....;

2006-03-02T20:15:00.000+08:00

jogged with elaine,jen and sumin b4 sch. we started late.but we managed to jog 6 rnds,not consecutively of cuz.and we had time for breakfast! we ponned assembly though.haha.due to the good results, we had half day of sch! until 130! wth la. haha.but still better than nothing. all we had was pe,econs and maths. was dying thru econs la. haha. failed econs and maths. so expected cann. but oh wells. i really need to work hard.

me,jen and elaine headed down to bras besar complex and bugis junction after sch. wahh. spent more than an hour at a really nice shop. ive got many ideas now.-wink wink. den went window shopping at bugis junction.oh no.ive been tempted to change my wardrobe again! saw this cute outfit! haha. everything's on sale! elaine and jen are making me love mickey mouse too! oh no. haha. the two pigs had long john's while i had papaya soya milk x).frens,papaya soymilk and a talking cock session.a heavenly combination x). haha.

ive been happy today. the day was fun. its really nice to have a grp of frens u can hang out with and talk to. ive decided to stick to econs h2 cls. cuz i dont wanna leave my frens. and i can always drop econs if i really cant cope x).

i was kinda confused bout certain things again though. i just realised i have been lying to myself all these while. i still cant stop the compulsion of doing silly things which may not even matter to someone else. im afraid of getting hurt. but somehow, i just cant stop it.

feelings gone upside-down ;

2006-03-01T21:26:00.000+08:00

finally back in sch today.so rare that i actually appreciate sch,though it was super boring and the weather was irritating me. haha.we were dismissed earlier cuz we were late for the talk! haha. but we had choir. though i cldnt sing, i learnt a new song! haha. i enjoy staying back x). whee. i find pleasure in my past miseries. haha. oh ya, and i pigged out alot today!! nvm. shall pray the fats go to the right places! haha.

i realise i noe really WEIRD pple. like the one who's chattin with me is asking me if i wanna watch tammy's video?!. like wtf. i dont do porn yeah. haha. crapped on the phone with gerard just now. and i enjoyed it x).wish we wld talk more often like that k? rmb, im ur bestie! haha x).

sometimes, things get so confusing i dont even noe what to think. can i not think? but i noe if i dont, i wont get a chance to. haha.

real friends? HAHA.. ;

2006-02-28T21:51:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really wonder. out of all of the pple i treat as good friends, how many actually feel the same way abt me? i tell them almost everything im going thru and they rather keep everything to themselves. i just have to find out from other pple. is this called friendship?

maybe its been wishful thinking on my part. but arent friends suppose to care?shdnt u hide away ur mask when ure w a friend? i just dont get it. why must pple make things so complicating?

where have all the colours gone ;

2006-02-28T19:59:00.000+08:00

i didnt go sch today cuz im down with flu. thanks to sumin, yuquan, marcus and yk who reminded me to rest well. haha.was totally bored at home. and tutorials make me depressed further. i dun understand anything!

i will nvr stay at home unless im really sick. guess im too used to the hectic life ive had. i felt so lonely today. cuz everyone was busy with sch and all while i was alone at home. being alone at home reminded me of somethings. when i was alone at home last time, i wld ask gerard to come over. but oh wells. thats all in the past.now, things are TOTALLY DIFFERENT. and i dunno why. rahhs.

somehow i feel that ive been making myself busy to not be reminded of certain things. i dont wanna go back home after sch cuz i wanna keep my mind off things. but how long can i stay this way la. its not too good for my studies and my health.

last time life used to be full of colours. then i went thru a phrase where life was black and white. now i see pastel colours,totally different shades from the bright colours i used to see x(.

bored again ;

2006-02-28T17:16:00.000+08:00

You Are A Relationship Rescuer!

You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together
The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think.
You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule.
And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that

Do You Ruin Relationships?

You Are An Intro-Extrovert!

Sometimes you're social - sometimes you're shy
You've got a bit of an Introvert / Extrovert split going on
You enjoy all sorts of situations. Parties, small groups, and alone time.
Too much of one, and you'll long for the other. You need varity!
Chances are, you've got both serious and fun friends - and they don't get along.

Are You An Extrovert or Introvert?

You Are Low Maintenance

Otherwise known as "too good to be true"
You're one laid back chica - and men love that!
Just remember that no good guy likes a dormat.
So if you find your self going along to get along...
Stop yourself and put up a little bit of a fight.

Are You High Maintenance?

im sure all these show how bored ive been today. rahh. staying at home is so not fun. esp when the rest of ur friends are in sch.

bored ;

2006-02-28T10:57:00.000+08:00

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.
You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.
People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.
When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)

You're both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination.
You were born to be a doctor.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

You Are 11 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love.

You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt.

It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.

In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm.

You have a hard time ending relationships, even if the other person says it's over.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

You Are An Understanding Girlfriend!

You care about your guy, so much that you tend to put him first
And while this makes your relationship smooth, sometimes you let big things slide
Still be your understanding self, but if something really bothers you - let your guy know
He'll still want you, even if you occasionally disagree

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

You're Confident...Sometimes

You can seem confident when the occasion calls for it
But inside you may be experiencing a bit of self doubt
A little more inner confidence could take you far...
And convince others that you're as confident as you try to seem

Are You Confident?

You Are a Friendly Ex

While the guys you've dated haven't been perfect, you've kept most as friends
In fact, one or two of your exes may be your best friends - after all, they know you best
And though your mature attitude is awesome, make sure nothing gets too weird
Or else you could lose these friendships, simply because your exes' new women think you're *too* friendly

What Kind of Ex Are You?

the secret lies within the pain ;

2006-02-27T20:15:00.000+08:00

booo. im sick. after one night w/o aircon, i still woke up w a sore throat! spent so much time thinking if i shd go sch that i was kinda late.

the day was SLOW.and the weather was killing prob everyone.i drank 4 cups of crysanthemum tea. and i was still roasting under the shade. i pity those who did pe today. me and xiaoxian just slacked and complained bout nj. oops x). haha. which jc has pe at 1140 laa. siao.oh ya. and i fucked up maths test. i though range was domain! haha. so usual of me x).

i ended sch not noeing where to go. none of my frens were free. and i didnt wanna trouble those who are free. sometimes i feel its true that our cls isnt as bonded as some clses in other jcs. look at yk's cls la. pon lessons to go play mahjong.and they go out like everyweek kind? even gerard's cls oso at least still go his hse for bbq.

so wandered to hougang to get my papaya soymilk before i headed home. papaya soymilk- my reward of the day. haha. ANYWAY, i wanna announce that GERARD CHUA YOU JIAN owes me a lunch treat at NYDC/BREEKS/CRYSTAL JADE/CHANGING APPETITES! all readers shall be my witness. hehe. tag if u read this please x).

i feel a little confused. i dunno what the meaning of stuff. im happy with the way things are. with the care i have now. but im just curious i guess. ohno. maybe like what yk said, some pple dont reveal their real selves before others. why liddat.aiyo. make it so difficult for me.haha.

=P! ;

2006-02-26T11:11:00.000+08:00

marcus says : "i didnt noe u looked so hot in heels"
marcus continues: "lets play marcus says in my room"
hj stares widely.
marcus stares.
they break out laughing.

omg la. we were crazy. haha. think before u speak next time la idiot! haha.

angels in disguise ;

2006-02-26T08:39:00.000+08:00

went all the way to CP to get papaya soymilk ytd morn!but papaya was out of stock so switched to honeydew. it was EWWW la. haha. no milk taste at all. so after eating LOADS of sushi and breadtalk, i drank ice blended again! haha. was late to meet sumin. so sorry girl! den we went to watch danceworks o6'. NJC western dance was WOOHOO x). i think they were the best la. but i may be biased. haha.and ive nvr appreciated dance.after that,spent even more cash.ohno. ive gotta start spending less.

many hilarious stuff happened during rehearsals la, like 15 of us changing in a small room, pple trying to pin my gown cuz its too big,stuffing shoes with tissue. haha. and i finish the whole packet of caifan!rare scene.somehow wished the starving pple cld be as lucky as me. have free food to eat x(.anyway!me and luan got the same shoes! lousy one. nice to look at but totally useless.haha. i think the performace was GOOD la=). im proud. hehe.

yukai and marcus came down specially to support. im touched la. haha. little things like that suddenly make me feel i matter to someone. i dont want things like flowers and all. a little gesture like that just makes me v. happy. haha.so didnt go home straighaway. so sorry hor sumin! poor girl. i like pangseh her liddat. haha.

im feeling much much better today. though my head feels like its gonna split. i had tao hui at geylang this morn! super nice. its been ages since i had taohui from there x). im a happy girl now.

the tear behind the smile ;

2006-02-25T07:54:00.000+08:00

schs starting to improve=)). im more appreciative of what ive had now. though our cls isnt the v. super enthu kind, but the pple are generally nice. and we can be united if we really tried to. sumin and wanyi exercised their poning powers ytd again! so me,sumin,wanyi and elaine towned. were supposed to look for wanyi's present to her bf but ended up window shopping for earrings. oh man. they are so so sweet la. giving presents every mth?! but i guess i need more time b4 i can really feel ok advising her w this kinda stuff. its still hurting.

and im glad i got nice pair of court shoes/pumps for today! all thanks to the 3 of them for keeping their eyes wide open x). i hope the concert goes well today. but i noe i'll be thinking of other things. so hopefully i will concentrate.

its good that YOUre honest now. so now the reason is that im just too irritating for u? why didnt u tell me so. at least now i dont keep thinking of getting back.so many pple care more bout me den u. guess to u, im just not worth bothering at all. i cant believe i actually thought of skipping the performance to meet u. i cant believe i gave up everything that was impt to me cuz of u. and what do i get? nothing but a cold shoulder.

im glad im not as weak as b4.i wld cry last time. but not now. im not gonna be some pushover. thanks for hurting me so much that ive now become stronger. and of cuz thanks to all my friends for being by my side so i wouldnt kill myself.